Tag Archives: life coaching

The Mysterious Power of Doing Nothing

I’m a busy person. I’m sure you are too. It’s the bane of our existence in this modern world: so much to do and so little time to do it.

As I continue to settle into my new home, I’ve been noticing the powerful draw that “doing something” has on me. My “to-do” list seems never ending and the feeling of overwhelm is easily available. Projects needing doing are constantly making themselves known and niggling away at my awareness.

What is it about doing something that is so seductive and alluring? In this week’s blog let’s take a closer look at doing something and the mysterious power of doing nothing, to see if we can create a bit more freedom, peace and ease around this aspect of our lives.

Read on and enjoy!

The Mysterious Power of Doing Nothing

“On the path of spiritual evolution you do less and less achieving more and more until ultimately you do nothing and achieve everything.”

Deepak Chopra

Getting things done in life is a good thing. We are creative creatures and there is so much to experience in our relatively short lives. However, the drive for doing and accomplishing can be excessive. In the interest of finding a healthy, productive balance, I’d like to point out some of the less healthy (and likely unconscious) drivers of our never ending to-do lists: addiction, fear, and ignorance. Let’s take a look at these one by one.

ADDICTION:   Getting things done is so satisfying, isn’t it? You see something needing done and you do it. Ah, the sweet victory of accomplishment. You get to check it off your list. From the very large to the very small, it all feels good, so good it seems we have become addicted.

It’s really no different than any other high; it’s a fleeting moment that must be repeated in order to regenerate the good feeling. The drug wears off and you need another fix. Hence, we’ve become a society of doers getting things done. Socially the behavior is highly encouraged, supported, and even applauded; a full schedule means you are important, you are worthy, you are somebody. While we may secretly yearn for luxuriously lazy days and an open, flexible schedule, we dare not go there. Why? Because we believe anyone with spare time on their hands must be a loser “with nothing to do.” So we are driven, we are addicted.

FEAR:   Now let’s look at fear. Parker J. Palmer wrote a fabulous little book called Let Your Life Speak. He outlines a behavior he calls “Functional Atheism.” Palmer described this as a belief that ultimate responsibility for everything rests with us. As he says, “This is the unconscious, unexamined conviction that if anything decent is going to happen, we are the ones who must make it happen. This belief leads us to impose our will on others, stressing our relationships, sometimes to the point of breaking. It often eventuates in burnout, depression, and despair, as we learn that the world will not bend to our will and we become embittered about that fact. It drives collective frenzy as well and explains why the average group can tolerate no more than fifteen seconds of silence: if we are not making noise, we believe, nothing good is happening and something must be dying.”

This is the fear of bad things happening, and it goes something like this: “If we don’t get busy making things happen, then bad things will happen!” The unexamined, fear-based belief underlying and unconsciously driving this behavior is “doing nothing = bad things happening.”

Where did we learn this? That’s right, probably in childhood where if you didn’t clean your room, bad things happened. If you didn’t do your homework, bad things happened. If you didn’t eat all your vegetables, bad things happened. We learned we have to do something to keep bad things from happening. And we continue on with that belief and behavior today.

But is this true? Do we have to beat our hearts? Digest our food? Grow the grass? Make the sun rise each day? Make gravity so we don’t fly off the planet into space? Make the rain fall so we don’t die of thirst? All of these good things happen without our having to do anything. In other words, ladies and gentleman, it is possible that doing nothing = good things happening.

IGNORANCE:   And this now leads us to our third driver of the human-doing: ignorance. This is a huge one! Because we are ignorant of the amazing life-force energy that is on our side wanting the best for us, we are all stressed out doing-doing-doing since we believe we are alone in our actions. We are ignorant of the “mysterious powers and secretly decisive influences of existence.” Consider this quote by Sri Aurobindo:

  “There has been a great and ordered classification and mechanisation, a great discovery and practical result of increasing knowledge, but only on the physical surface of things. Vast abysses of Truth lie below in which are concealed the real springs, the mysterious powers and secretly decisive influences of existence.” Sri Aurobindo

Sri Aurobindo is basically saying that, yes, we have come a long way and lots of helpful knowledge has been developed and helpful things have been created. But all of this discovery and creation is NOTHING compared to the VAST ABYSSES OF TRUTH lying beneath in the metaphysical world. AND – very importantly – that in this vast abyss are the real causes and powers that are determining and creating our existence. It is these mysterious powers about which we know very little. We are ignorant.

Michael Bernard Beckwith puts it this way “Consciousness always precedes form.” Consciousness arises from the vast abyss, and then puts on clothing in the physical world for the duration of its existence, whatever that form may be. If we can really understand this creative process and come to KNOW it to be true, we would spend a lot more time cultivating our sixth sense. More time navigating the vast abysses of truth. More time surfing the winds and waves of those secretly decisive influences of existence.

Cultivating this sixth sense has many aspects to it; it is the essence of personal transformation and spiritual evolution. Becoming a clear channel where “doing nothing” produces results might require emotional healing work, a regular meditation practice, visualization, contemplation, deep reflection, or any number of other transformational practices and processes. In the external world this work of cultivation might look like doing nothing. However, as you walk the path you will come to know, trust and love this mysterious power of doing nothing, doing less and less while achieving more and more.

To develop your partnership with the secretly decisive influences of existence, I invite you to engage The Major Good Mojo System.

Your Major Good Mojo Assignment:

Take five minutes and do nothing. Just sit and notice all the good things happening without you doing a thing. Notice that your body is being breathed, notice that your heart is being beaten, notice that your food is being digested, notice that the grass is being grown, notice that the sun is being shined, and notice that the breeze is being blown. What other good things happening do you notice while you are doing nothing?

Congratulations – you’re one step closer to Major Good Mojo!

 

 

Finding Your Own Unique Way – Your Hero’s Journey!

This picture was taken last Thursday in Sacramento, California, where I took part in a panel of experts on coaching. I was the Life Coach, while there were others representing Leadership, Executive, and Career Coaching. The program was titled “Demystifying Career, Executive, Life, and Leadership Coaching.” It was well done and a lot of fun.

What distinguishes life coaching from these other forms of coaching is pretty obvious – it’s about your LIFE, the whole kit and caboodle – while the other forms are more focused in a particular arena. From my perspective, to be really effective, you’ve got to look at the whole person, not just one aspect. It’s not unlike medicine – the best doctors treat the whole person, not just a symptom or problem.

At the event I shared that as a Spiritual Life Coach and “A Partner for your Soul’s Purpose,” I’m interested in the deepest aspects of living: one’s core truth, mission, and purpose. My particular treatment and prescription is the Major Good Mojo Coaching Program and System. Over the past 13 newsletters, I’ve outlined step-by-step the entire 10-step system.

While the Major Good Mojo System does teach specific tools and processes, these are conduits for the expression of your own UNIQUE divinity. It’s through these tools that you discover YOUR truth, find YOUR way, and embrace your total individuality and uniqueness.

In this blog I emphasize the power of your uniqueness and the importance of tapping into that truth, following wherever it may lead. Being able to achieve this skillfully is one of the biggest benefits and outcomes of the Major Good Mojo System.

Read on and enjoy!

Finding Your Own Unique Way – Your Hero’s Journey!

“You enter the forest at the darkest point, where there is no path. Where there is a way or path, it is someone else’s path. You are not on your own path. If you follow someone else’s way, you are not going to realize your potential.”
Joseph Campbell, The Hero’s Journey: Joseph Campbell on His Life & Work

The Hero’s Journey is your own personal journey of self-discovery, knowledge, growth, and transformation. It’s your personal exploration of the mystery of life, of your life, of coming to know more and more who and what you really are.

It’s very important to know there are lots of ways to engage this journey. I’ve enjoyed many personal growth and transformational programs, investing far more than $100K in my own transformation, not to mention significant amounts of time and energy. And every little bit of it has been absolutely worth it. But there is one enormous thing I have learned, and I want you to know: ultimately they all lead to the same place – back to YOU. So don’t worry about taking “the right” pathway. You cannot get lost. It’s more important to just get started, to get on the path. All of the pathways are essentially facilitating the same thing in different ways – self-knowledge. This entails knowing yourself at deeper and deeper and more powerful levels.

I’d like you to consider that your life is like a beautiful mosaic that you create piece by piece over time; you don’t know exactly what the final picture will look like. But you do know that by authentically selecting and engaging each piece, as each piece comes together, you’ll end up with your own unique, beautiful and satisfying work of art. This is creating your own path, true to the quote by Joseph Campbell.

We tend to look at life in a linear fashion; this follows this, then this follows that, and so on. Think of going to school: there’s kindergarten through 12th grade; then college; then a job; then marriage; then kids, etc. It’s all very logical and linear and can become limiting if that is your only view of life.

Looking at your life like a mosaic, or perhaps as a patchwork quilt, is a much broader view that allows a lot more freedom and creativity. It allows each piece to stand on its own – nothing necessarily has to precede it or follow it. Then other pieces, (many other pieces, in fact), can build off of it and go in multiple directions, all within the context of the overall mosaic of your life. Sometimes you can’t see the role a particular piece will play until more of the mosaic is built. As that larger picture comes into view those previously strange pieces can suddenly make sense.

A criticism of modern spirituality is that we are approaching wisdom traditions like a cafeteria buffet – taking only what we want and leaving the rest – thereby disrespecting those traditions and decimating their paths. There certainly can be some misunderstanding generated when rituals or practices are taken out of context. Examples might be, “because I do yoga I understand the path of the Indian Yogi,” or “because I participated in a sweat lodge, I understand Native American Spirituality.” Yoga postures and the sweat lodge experience are small parts of much, much larger and rich philosophies, practices, and approaches to life.

However, if you look historically at how religions, traditions, and movements have formed and begun, the good, powerful and lasting ones frequently take the best of what is available in their time and then add their own new perspectives and approaches. This actually is an aspect of evolution; we take the best of what is available, blend things together in new ways, and thereby make them even better. This is how I created the 10-Step Major Good Mojo System. I put together the best tools and processes for powerful living I had found (appropriately licensed and trained to do so, not just ripping things off) into a one-of-a-kind unique system that produces results for my clients. This is a path that helps you enter the forest at the darkest point and CREATE YOUR OWN PATH.

This is how I encourage you to create and live your life. Make it your own. Explore, have fun, allow yourself not to know, allow the unfolding of your life experience and see what it wants to become. This is a practice of discovery as you build your own life’s mosaic.

To develop the skills that will help you create and discover your own unique path I invite you to engage the The Major Good Mojo Coaching System.

Your Major Good Mojo Assignment:

Collect a pile of magazines that you don’t mind cutting up, and a large cork board and push pins from an office store. Flip through the magazines, stopping when a picture resonates with you. Is it a shot of mountain climbing? Is it a teacher in front of a group of students? Is it of a veterinary clinic? Visual images can stir us in unique ways to help us identify deep longings. These examples may show you a longing for adventure, for a new career as a teacher, or to work with animals.

At any age, male or female, this technique can help you get in touch with your passions, your dreams, and your deepest desires.  To find your way and make your own path!

Congratulations – you are one step closer to Major Good Mojo!

Open Up and Bloom – It’s Your Choice

It has been said that human beings are the only creatures privileged with the ability to refuse to bloom and open up. Why is that? Why are we privileged in this sense and why do we resist?

We are privileged because as conscious beings we have the power of choice. You can say yes to things or you can say no. You can say yes to Divine Guidance and Wisdom or you can resist and say no. It’s your choice. Consider this quote by Rumi: “Who says the eternal being does not exist? Who says the sun has gone out? Someone who climbs up on the roof, and closes his eyes tight, and says I don’t see anything.” You see, you CAN go to the rooftop and close your eyes tightly – it’s your choice. Buy why would you do that? Well, there are a lot of reasons, but a big one may be having been hurt by past experiences of trusting and opening up.

And why do we resist? Because we’ve been hurt in the past, or experienced other “flavors” of hurt like disappointment and failure. We close down and resist blooming and opening. This is a normal human mechanism for safety and protection that can of course be helpful. We’ve been hurt before and we don’t want it to happen again so we create strategies to prevent it. However, things are always changing, and these automatic mechanisms and strategies can become outdated over time and become more hurtful than helpful.

At some point the resistance to blooming can become so painful that we must choose to bloom! However, before reaching that point, we can help the blooming process by proactively looking at those things that are keeping us closed and resistant. We can look for the outdated strategies that are no longer helpful, and begin to dismantle them and their grip on our life. Doing this important work is the topic of this blog and is Step 7 of the Major Good Mojo System “Let Go of Old, Negative Stuff – Beliefs, Habits, and Patterns.” 

NOTE:  An easy and powerful tool that will help you address and clear negative beliefs and blocks is a short guided-meditation audio program called “Shift It.” Check it out here!

Read on and enjoy!

Open Up and Bloom! – It’s Your Choice

Step 7 of the Major Good Mojo System is “Let Go of Old, Negative Stuff – Beliefs, Habits, and Patterns.” As soon as someone steps onto their new path toward their new life, what they typically run into are all their old beliefs and habits that have been holding them back. It is vital to understand this and be able to address it. If you are not able to see, work with, release and transform old beliefs and habits that hold you in place, you will very quickly return to your old life and be even more resigned. You may say to yourself that you “tried” and it just didn’t work out. You will resist your blooming.

I have dealt with this a lot in my own life and, frankly, I still do. Often I would go to an amazing and inspiring seminar or workshop, come out ready to take on the world, only to find my old habits and ways of being creeping back in over the next few weeks. A month or more out from the workshop it was as if my brain was asking, “what workshop?”

Getting insights and inspiration is important, but is only the beginning. One of the down-side problems relating to weekend workshops and seminars is the lack of long-term support. There is often no process in place to work out the old ways of being that participants took with them into that workshop. There’s typically not even an acknowledgement that these things even exist!  I’m sure you’ve experienced this in your own life and know it to be true. Lots of people are offering fascinating and inspiring programs, but what is missing is the follow up. Old beliefs and habits have far more momentum and are far more ingrained than any new idea or inspiration. Without the follow up, most of the new ideas will die on the vine.

Learning how to let go of old negative beliefs, habits, and patterns is THE difference between success and failure. In my opinion this is why people became frustrated with the movie “The Secret.” They went out and asked for and believed they could have something. But what they were not told is that there is a huge part of them that does not believe they can have it, or should have it, or deserve it, or that it’s even possible. That’s what a friend of mine has called “The Dirty Little Secret.” The dirty little secret is that when you truly desire something and commit to having it, what comes up for you are all the beliefs or constructs that kept you from having it in the first place.  These must be released for true fulfillment to take place.

I know how hard it is to let go of negative beliefs and habits. That is why I created an audio program called “Shift It.” This is an easy and powerful tool specifically designed to address negative beliefs and blocks. Check it out here.

I have experienced and worked with MANY different tools and processes for releasing and transforming beliefs and habits we no longer prefer to uphold. The tools and processes that really work have these three things in common:

1) They make you stop and notice what is happening; you become a conscious witness to the FACTS about the situation(s),

 2) They invite you to embrace all aspects of your experience of the situation: physical, mental, emotional. You must embrace and allow the truth of your experience – the only way out is through. 

3) Once you’ve gone into the uncomfortable aspects and felt and allowed them, you then open up to new insights and possibilities for your life.

You can think of this generalized process as a bridge between two lands: your current, limited reality/experience, and your desired, expanded reality/experience. The bridge between these two lands is courageously built by embracing and allowing your truth and the full-body experience of the issue, situation, or challenge. Basically, you are consciously embracing all your “fears of what might happen.” Once you’ve done this, it is like magic! New insights and possibilities automatically begin arising.

When you engage the Major Good Mojo System I will walk you through several very powerful processes to open new doors in your life and embrace your blooming. And, even better, I will teach you these processes so you can do it for yourself for the rest of your life. To experience the power this can provide in your life, I invite you to engage the The Major Good Mojo System.

Your Major Good Mojo Assignment:

Where are you “tightly closing your eyes” and afraid of seeing the rising sun? Where are you resisting your blooming?  

Think of an uncomfortable or frustrating situation in your life right now. Write down one or two sentences that simply describe the facts of that situation. Then, write down how you feel about it; what are all the thoughts, feelings, and physical sensations you experience when you think about this situation? Do you feel angry, mad, tired, resigned, or perhaps sad? Where in your body do you feel these feelings? Point to and describe the physical feelings you are having. It might be tension or tightness, a “sick to the stomach” feeling, a numbness, or perhaps heat or hotness.

Allow yourself to notice and experience these feelings. Fully go into them with an open curiosity, with an attitude of “Wow, look how irritated I am” or “Wow, look how much tension I have around this situation.” Just notice and allow whatever is there for you as you think about the situation. This should only take two or three minutes, but take as much time as you need.

Then, once you have embraced and allowed your experience, begin opening up to new insights, ideas, or thoughts that may be arising. Just turn your attention toward “new ways of holding or moving through the situation.” You can even ask, “In what new ways might I hold this situation.” Then listen quietly for your intuition and insights to arise. In the beginning, a process like this is best engaged with a skilled facilitator. However, with some courage, compassion, and gentleness, you can certainly make some headway on your own.

Congratulations – you are choosing to bloom and are building bridges to new lands of Major Good Mojo!